Sunday, June 20, 2004

Cue up the world's smallest violin

Is there a bigger bunch of whiny sucks, as a group, than PGA golfers? Reading the post-mortems of the U.S. Open, I've been overdosing on righteous indignation.

It's common knowledge that left-wingers are about as common on the PGA Tour as tank tops and wool socks, but offend their sensibilities in some way, and their joint rhetoric sounds like something borrowed from French farmers. Johnny Miller makes some unflattering comments on NBC, and the players run to the commissioner to "get rid of this guy from the telecasts". ONE GUY persisently heckles Davis Love III in March, and he shuts down into pout mode for the rest of the match.

Worst of all is this blarney about how "the setup of the course is really unfair" at seemingly every U.S. Open. Ladies of the PGA Tour: if some guys got to play on one setup, and everyone else on a tougher one, that would be unfair. The U.S. Open is difficult, and it is different. Robert Allenby shot 70 today. Now two-time champion Retief Goosen shot 71. Jerry Kelly - you're a wuss. Show the champ his due respect. The course was brutally difficult today, and you weren't as up to it as some other guys. Take your 78 and your bruised ego, and shut up and go home.

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