Friday, October 22, 2004

"Thanks, beautiful."

Hello, and happy Friday out to everyone in darkened-home-office-land. I'm presently enjoying the 2nd day of the rest of my life, and except for the periodic panic attacks and vomiting, it's been great.

Speaking of mixing exhiliration with fear, The Sports Guy has posted the transcript of a mostly-real (accurate but maybe not authentic?) online chat from earlier, discussing the aftermath of Sox-Yankees, and the Sox-Cards World Series matchup. (Oh, as expected, he really doesn't have much enthusiasm for the NFL at the moment). He has some excellent responses to the real and phony questions. On the matchup of managers:
Rob (Fredercksburg, VA): ...I am worried about the La Russa vs. Francona matchup when they are in St. Louis. Do you have any comments? How much of more of an advantage do you give La Russa in games 3-5?

Bill Simmons: I just threw up.
On the left side of the Yankee infield:
Julie (Boston): Do you think Jeter does the fist pump everytime he disappoints a woman in bed? Or does he save it for when he's with A-Rod?

Bill Simmons: Whoops - I didn't mean to post that. Really, I didn't.

Chris (Arlington, VA): Bigger choke artist: A-Rod or Manning?

Bill Simmons: Jeez, sorry about that -- another accident. My mouse isn't dragging properly.
On life's greatest mysteries:
Jeff Suppan (St Louis): How did I manage to suck so much with Boston and somehow pitch a game 7 of the NLCS with St Louis? Can my team with such awful pitching take out the Red Sox?

Bill Simmons: That's an excellent question: You were absolutely beyond terrible with the Sox. Now you're an effective groundball pitcher with the Cards. It makes absolutely no sense. You didn't even make the playoff roster for us last year.
And of course, a few digs at the Fox broadcast team, or more correctly, the now-obviously senile Tim McCarver, referenced ad nauseam in his ALCS columns:
Bill Simmons: I'm planning on starting a website under an assumed name so I can complain about broadcasters. This is my new plan. One of the baseball announcers (I won't name him) drove me CRAZY this week. Crazier than I've ever been about an announcer. And I can't vent about it.
[...]
Tim McCarver (The Booth): Bill -- Why the animosity towards me?

Bill Simmons: Because you were openly rooting for the Yankees. That's why.

Julie (Baltimore): How about Al Leiter? I was very impressed by him. He definitely has a career when his playing days are over.

Bill Simmons: I liked Al Leiter a lot - very balanced, very knowledgable.
[...]
Mark (Boston): How do you feel about having the WS broadcast by a play-by-play guy who works for the Cardinals, and a color guy who won 2 WS with the Cardinals??

Bill Simmons: Well, they were totally balanced during the ALCS, so I'm sure it won't be a problem here.

Indeed. Here's hoping the World Series goes 7 games, so that as Simmons notes, we could have Mike Myers pitching on Halloween night. eep.

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