"And speaking of long double headers..."
Possibly the greatest issue ever of The Onion, with such headlines as:
- New Homeless Initiative To Raise Bottle Deposit To 12 Cents
- Nigeria Chosen To Host 2008 Genocides
- Gold Bond Spokesman Grudgingly Admits It Makes Your Balls Tingle
- Sports-Related Murder Provides Perfect Local-News Segue (a gut-buster, I promise)
- Risk Champ Flunks Geography Test
And the best piece might be the Infograph, this week offering suggestions to Major League Baseball on preventing the use of performance-enhancing drugs:
- Toughening up their "Don't get caught using steroids" policy
- Putting up posters of Major League players at ever GNC outlet, with the instructions "do not serve"
- Keeping players off drugs by getting them involved in sports