Friday, May 20, 2005

"Come on pretty pretty, let's see a smile..."

Language warning!

Anyone headed out to the campground (or backyard) for the weekend? If you're looking for some background noise, I heartily recommend David Cross' standup effort, Shut Up, You Fucking Baby! - Disc 1 of 2.

Colby Cosh commented on Disc 2 a few months ago; he gets it right, although I'd say the anti-Bush stuff is more than tiresome; it's embarrassing. The best that can be said is at least he's explicit about his contempt for Bush voters, and I mean explicit in every sense of the word.

Disc 1, however, is laff-a-minute. I listened to it with a friend and our wives winding around the Avalon Peninsula last week. This is probably like verbally explaining a comic strip, but here goes. The highlight for me was his bit about loving New York City, and the strange but urgent decision you have to make every 30 minutes or so: "Should I look at the hottest girl I've ever seen, or the biggest lunatic I've ever seen?"

This moved on to his tale about watching a garbage truck roll along the curb at three miles per hour, and realizing that the driver is trying to pick up a woman walking down the sidewalk. Everything inside the quote marks is delivered in Tim Meadows' Ladies Man voice:

"Come on baby, how 'bout a smile now, come on pretty pretty, turn that shit upside down for me, come on now..." etc. Here I'm laughing - then Cross starts an imaginary Tony Robbins-style monologue by Mr. Garbage Truck Driver: "I don't sit around, I make things happen, I allow things to facilitate, I am a facilitator..." etc. Now I'm really laughing. Finally Cross hits the punchline, presumably a nod to the SNL Eddie Murphy-as-Michael Jackson appearance on "Guy Talk":

"I might get 99 'No's--but maybe that hundredth girl likes to fuck on a pile of trash."

- and, that's where I drive off the road and kill everyone in the car, but still die with a smile on my face. Anyway, it's an hour of laffs. Happy May-long.

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