For the juvenile man who has everything
My brother-in-law was in T.O. recently, and brought me back an unbelievably hilarious gift. I can't beat this intro:
The next time you're in an argument, don't waste your time searching for an effective comeback. If you want to get the last word, just use the incredible Mr. T In Your Pocket
It's everything you would imagine from the link (except that jeez - Mr. T doesn't groan, he growls). Also, the printed word fails to capture the full hilarity of the fifth saying. This would be slightly better:
"First name - Mister. Middle name - Period. Last name - [voice goes lower] teeeeeeee."
Ages 5 and up, though only 25 and up will truly appreciate it.