Funny Because It Wasn't Me dept.
[...] So, what else could I do but steal my own car. I pop the trunk and am shocked that the alarm doesn't go off. Terrific! Maybe I'm mistaken and the alarm isn't really on. I throw in the suitcase, slam the trunk and walk around to the driver's door. Still no alarm.
But, as soon as I turn the key in the lock all hell breaks loose. The lights start flashing, the bells are ringing, the horn is honking - you name it, this alarm does it...except, apparently, prevent you from driving!
It gets better.